On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
im holly from the hills drunk
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Randomize
