you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
