Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
