can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
