It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize