none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
There are leaves in my underwear?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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