I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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