Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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