By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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