I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
