ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Randomize
