I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Randomize
