Don't you send me to vm
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Randomize