What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
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