I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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