I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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