Having a random hookup so left but love u
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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