i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
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