Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
