and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Shame - the story of my life.
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