But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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