I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
