i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
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