we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
