I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
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I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize