two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
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