Are you guys doing anything tonight?
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt