Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
These People Are So Awkward You’ll Get Embarrassed
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
These People Encountered Celebrities in Bizarrely Normal Places
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??