You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
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Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
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I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.