if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
