it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
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