Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
How's work?
Spinning.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Randomize
