Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
