I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Randomize
