porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize
