$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Found the puke drawer
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize