apparently the secret to your success is patron
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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