Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize