I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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