At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
