my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Randomize
