They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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