turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
