I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize