In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize