Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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