Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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