You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
