Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
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You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
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You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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