Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
