No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize
