he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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