Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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