Taylor Swift is so right about you.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
