we have officially lost it.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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