Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
How external is "for external use only"?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
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