ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
