You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
