There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like heaven, but drunker
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize