You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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