How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
