Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
