So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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