Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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