so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
