hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
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