I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
