420 ftw
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
